Using my Spiritual Gifts
I love writing. I use it as a way of escape. As a way of turning my thoughts into something physical. As a way of resting. As a way of sharing Jesus. As a way of opening up and being vulnerable. I guess there is just something different about being able to take what I am thinking and express it in writing that makes it easier for me, makes it more tangible, makes me more courageous to say what I want to say. I just love writing.
But, I love writing when I don't feel forced. When it comes from the heart, and when I am using it to rest. When I feel forced something just seems different. It seems like it doesn't flow as well, or like my thoughts aren't as clear. Or I feel like it is going to be judged(probably because usually when I am forced to write, it is a graded assignment). Maybe it's the fact that I just don't care as much. Whatever it is, it's generally more burdensome than restful, generally more trapping than a way of escape.
I have always thought of myself as a decent writer, which might be why I like it so much. I have also always thought that it would be super neat if I was able to use my writing as a ministry, as a way of helping and reaching people and sharing my life and experiences with them in a more meaningful way.
Welp. Yesterday my youth pastor texted me and told me that he noticed I was a good writer and asked me if I would be willing to write a blog about my experience at San Diego Leadership Project this summer for our college ministry's new website. I got super excited and said that I would of course love to do that! But as I thought more about it, I was still excited, because I have been wanting to share my writing with more people and use it as a ministry, but it started to feel like a burden. It started to feel forced. I got nervous that I wouldn't be able to say what I wanted to say properly, or express my thoughts in a clear enough manner just because someone had asked me to do the writing. I now had certain specifications that I needed to meet and I got nervous that I wouldn't meet them.
But it's really funny how God works. How He uses things in our lives and relates them to what He is trying to teach us through church sermons, our community, and His Word.
Today in church, the sermon was about spiritual gifts- what they are, how we know which ones we have, and how we should apply them to our lives. The whole time the pastor was talking about these spiritual gifts, I kept thinking that mine was my writing, just because of how much I love it, and the desire I have to be able to use it for the glory of God. (If I am being honest, I really have no clue if writing is even considered a spiritual gift... but for now I am gonna say it is.) By the time that the pastor got to the third bullet point of the sermon I was already pretty convinced that my spiritual gift was writing.
And then he stated the third point.
3. We should use our spiritual gifts for the common good
He said that we need to think of our gifts as presents that God gives us, and on the label of those presents is written: to Katie, from God, for the church. He said that God is inviting us to step up and take responsibility, in the sense that we should be using our gifts for the common good of the church.
My heart sank a little.
Because here I was, so convinced that my spiritual gift was my writing, and yet not even 24 hours earlier I had been asked to write for my ministry's website and I felt burdened by it.
It's funny how God works.
I had a desire to use my writing for His good, He knew that, so He gave me an opportunity, and then I was like "um, maybe not." It was like I was trying to be selfish with the gift that God Himself has given me.
If I truly want to be able to use the gift that God has given me, then I should be happy to say yes to people. It shouldn't be burdensome, it should be even more restful, knowing that it is for the Lord. I can't worry that people will judge my writing, or that I won't meet expectations, or that I won't achieve the right specifications. My writing doesn't have to meet everyone's standards, and me thinking it does is exhausting. God will use my writing in whatever way He wants, whether it's unclear, full of mess-ups, or doesn't really flow. He will turn my broken writing into something beautiful.
Now I just have to work on truly believing that for myself, implementing those truths into my day to day life, and letting the Lord take care of the rest.
But, I love writing when I don't feel forced. When it comes from the heart, and when I am using it to rest. When I feel forced something just seems different. It seems like it doesn't flow as well, or like my thoughts aren't as clear. Or I feel like it is going to be judged(probably because usually when I am forced to write, it is a graded assignment). Maybe it's the fact that I just don't care as much. Whatever it is, it's generally more burdensome than restful, generally more trapping than a way of escape.
I have always thought of myself as a decent writer, which might be why I like it so much. I have also always thought that it would be super neat if I was able to use my writing as a ministry, as a way of helping and reaching people and sharing my life and experiences with them in a more meaningful way.
Welp. Yesterday my youth pastor texted me and told me that he noticed I was a good writer and asked me if I would be willing to write a blog about my experience at San Diego Leadership Project this summer for our college ministry's new website. I got super excited and said that I would of course love to do that! But as I thought more about it, I was still excited, because I have been wanting to share my writing with more people and use it as a ministry, but it started to feel like a burden. It started to feel forced. I got nervous that I wouldn't be able to say what I wanted to say properly, or express my thoughts in a clear enough manner just because someone had asked me to do the writing. I now had certain specifications that I needed to meet and I got nervous that I wouldn't meet them.
But it's really funny how God works. How He uses things in our lives and relates them to what He is trying to teach us through church sermons, our community, and His Word.
Today in church, the sermon was about spiritual gifts- what they are, how we know which ones we have, and how we should apply them to our lives. The whole time the pastor was talking about these spiritual gifts, I kept thinking that mine was my writing, just because of how much I love it, and the desire I have to be able to use it for the glory of God. (If I am being honest, I really have no clue if writing is even considered a spiritual gift... but for now I am gonna say it is.) By the time that the pastor got to the third bullet point of the sermon I was already pretty convinced that my spiritual gift was writing.
And then he stated the third point.
3. We should use our spiritual gifts for the common good
He said that we need to think of our gifts as presents that God gives us, and on the label of those presents is written: to Katie, from God, for the church. He said that God is inviting us to step up and take responsibility, in the sense that we should be using our gifts for the common good of the church.
My heart sank a little.
Because here I was, so convinced that my spiritual gift was my writing, and yet not even 24 hours earlier I had been asked to write for my ministry's website and I felt burdened by it.
It's funny how God works.
I had a desire to use my writing for His good, He knew that, so He gave me an opportunity, and then I was like "um, maybe not." It was like I was trying to be selfish with the gift that God Himself has given me.
If I truly want to be able to use the gift that God has given me, then I should be happy to say yes to people. It shouldn't be burdensome, it should be even more restful, knowing that it is for the Lord. I can't worry that people will judge my writing, or that I won't meet expectations, or that I won't achieve the right specifications. My writing doesn't have to meet everyone's standards, and me thinking it does is exhausting. God will use my writing in whatever way He wants, whether it's unclear, full of mess-ups, or doesn't really flow. He will turn my broken writing into something beautiful.
Now I just have to work on truly believing that for myself, implementing those truths into my day to day life, and letting the Lord take care of the rest.
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